Wednesday, October 19, 2016


It's been so long since the last time i wrote anything. There has been so much happening in my world, in the world that I live in. I get home everyday, curious to see what is going on in the world and change the channel 10 minutes later when all the violence on black bodies all over the world becomes too much for my fragile heart.

Many people wonder, "what went wrong?" and all I can think of is how we all knew that these days would come. That if you take someone's land, take their lives, take their dignity, take their loved ones and think the false promise of democracy and rainbow nations will solve all the pain and hurt, that you have been lying to yourself. What we see happening in the world is Black people who have had enough of the abuse, the pain, the disregard for our lives. It is an overflow of pain and feelings of being sold out by the likes of Mandela for example, in South Africa. The feelings of being sold out by the ANC, the selling out of the dream of one day being "FREE".

My brothers and sisters are being shot at everyday at universities. These are young people who have been waking up everyday to go to school, to learn, to build a better future for their families until they realised that they are the only people who want this for themselves. Universities are just another business feeding off the sweat of our parents, that the government is still the same machine that killed us in 1976, that system never changed, just the face of who presses the panic button. The same men and women we think of when asked about who our heroes are, are the same ones pressing the button, the same ones killing us.

What it is to be alive in 2016 is the pain of waking up from a dream that you thought was possible as the former President, Thabo Mbeki once said, "South Africa, alive with possibilities". What possibilities are these I ask myself with tears filling my eyes? as I hear stunt grenades, see teargas, see blood flowing from young people running in all directions, hear cries, see the violence as the police grab and drag young black women and men across the tar road. I read my twitter and all I want to do is cry as I feel helplessness and wonder, "What can we do?" "What must happen?" and I come back with the same answer over and over..."Fight for our lives" "Fight for our children". I sit in traffic everyday and I look around at the cars driving next to me and wonder if anyone else feels this pain that has congested my chest with blood, anger and hatred.

Its 2016, just 40 years after the 1976 massacre, everything around me is just deja vu. Burning buildings, cries, pain, blood, violence.

This is what it's like being black, queer, a womxn in South Africa right now.

We will fight for decolonised education! We will fight against capitalism! We will fight against white supremacy! We will fight against patriarchy! We will fight and we will win because we were born free and we refuse to be anything else but free!

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