Just curious

What is it that connects sexual intimacy to the heart? Can we really have sex without feeling a bit attached to that person...unless ofcourse they really suck in the sack (but then i always say when you say the other person sucks in bed (and not the good suck you were hoping for) what are you doing? I think it's also just a reflection on you not being as good as you think you are either:-)...unless you think you tried all the tricks in the book and still she lay there like a door knob or did some amazingly shocking things that left you reaching down in a hurry to feel if you V-jayjay is still intact.

Let's talk about when it's good...and you want more of that without the complexities of a relationship. I've heard a lot of people say they have a no-strings-attached arrangement with someone or what we call FuBus (Fuck Buddies) or FWBs (Friends with benefits) then in the end one of them falls in love; most times both parties fall in love and at most unfortunate times, it's one sided, which must hurt like hell! So the question is how do we separate the heart from our lower areas? Is there a way to avoid turning a simple 'fuck'to a white picket fence, kids and a wedding? - in our heads ofcourse because realistically, most of these relationships don't last longer than the orgasms but some exceptions have turned out to be the best and longest relationships.

Ever had it so good, you screamed out "I love you!"? and right after you've touched heaven, and all senses have come back, you think "S&*%!!!" and you can't take it back; if you do then you break the poor woman's heart. Maybe a great idea would be to tape your mouth shut before every ride to heaven.


I've found myself in such a situation before, where the sex was so good...i saw wedding bells but as it turned out about a month later, she was the last person i would have ever dated had i known the type of person she was prior to doing the horizontal mambo. Getting out of the relationship was hard as it involved being honest and breaking someone's heart in the process, which i suck at! Did I learn my lesson then?;) well, ask me that question when i'm old and not having sex anymore; 'til then, i'm gonna keep hoping that i did learn the lesson because i haven't repeated that mistake in a while.

Personally i think you can have a FuBu and not get attached and you can remain friends even way after you decide to stop having sex. I have those too and have learned by trial and error how to separate a sexual relationship from a love relationship. There's obviously some kind of and level of love as well with the FuBu or FWB, otherwise you wouldn't be able to go through with it...but it's a different kind of love to being in love with someone.

This whole connection phenomenon makes me think of another issue that we can talk about some other time - Can you learn or unlearn to love someone?