Friday, October 09, 2009

When life throws you a curve ball

I recently experienced a change in my life, I saw it coming and saw the foundation being laid but I never anticipated the level of deceit and devious ways that people turn to when they want their own way. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned in my adventurous life – it’s that every curve ball thrown at you, turns you onto a journey of discovery of the self and a new chapter in your life. Whether you believe in destiny, fate, God or forces in the universe, this new road is usually very scary and strange because once we get used to our comforts, we dwell in them and forget to look at what opportunities the world is throwing at you.

So now, here I am, a young black lesbian woman, strong, wilful, creative and a go getter sitting here in this unfamiliar world and thinking – do I sit back and take the devious blows or do I follow the light? Not too hard to figure out the answer once you’ve gone through all the emotions of pain, hurt and follow the light.

As human beings we always wonder about our purpose in life and worry about what to do when change is knocking. I know young people worry about money, cars, jobs and all the blissful worldly things and most times we don’t get them when we want but when the universe allows. We usually fall deep into depression, self pity and feelings of worthlessness but I have discovered that with each year, my outlook on life changes; relationships, pain, loss of loved ones, jobs, riches and so forth...all these change shape each time and when you resist, you delay your growth and strength. Whoever came up with the phrase “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” knew that the lesson of life is learning to let go in order for you to see that path to the end of the rainbow. I always ask my friends this question “What do you do when the unstoppable force meets destiny? And my answer is always...”you move!” because if you try to ignore it you would be trying to change the inevitable and when that force hits you, it will throw you off, so the best thing is to move and let it pass without hitting and hurting you first.

One great example is that of relationships. We all look for love, that one person that will make us feel like no other but is there such a person or do we learn to love... and anyone that we choose to give a chance to could be this potential person?

When you've found or have learnt to love this person and one day down the line, you realise their time in your life has passed and they need to move on; do you hang on for dear life and rather succumb to unhappiness than accept the inevitable and appreciate the love you had, whether for a month or years or do you move and let them fly away?

Everyday in my life I've met people I have loved or felt some kind of connection to; these people have come in the form of friends, lovers, neighbours, colleagues etc. and every time I sit back and see their worth in my life; sometimes there's none but at times you learn so much from one person than you would from any book, scientific analysis or academic seminar; that person helps you understand yourself more and learn more about acceptance, love and humanity.

What am I going on about? Life is a mystery but while we have no answers to most of life's questions and wonders; we must embrace what life throws at us and find the silver lining. If you lose a loved one, take some time and see how many new loved ones you gain from the departure of one...yes it will hurt like hell and yes, it is unfair but what does it give you? People lose people everyday but they live Because it is the inevitable that you will adapt, heal, learn and move on.

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