Friday, August 06, 2010

When Venus meets Venus

It’s always been said that men are from Mars and Women from Venus but what happens when Venus meets Venus?

At times just when you think you know what’s happening with your life and you sit back and let it just flow, you are awakened by some unexpected force. I remember the first time I was swept off my feet; I was looking around for this man that will appear and just steal my heart, little did I know that destiny had other ideas for me. When my knight in shining armour appeared she had on tight jeans, lip gloss, her skin so soft and hands so soft and tiny and here I am years later still into women and loving it.

“Have you ever felt like you’ve met the woman of your dreams? A woman who fits your dreams like a glove, makes you smile even when there’s no one around? Makes your heart beat faster when you think about them? How often do we meet these amazing creatures? And when you meet one, what do you do when all odds are against the two of you?”

“Do you put your life in the hands of fate and hope that things will work out or do you take the bull by its horns and set your own destiny?” I’m no expect when it comes to love but I know that when you meet that woman that captures your heart, nothing else will make sense until you have her in your arms.

I’ve always said that in life we make decisions everyday that affect us and at times you don’t have to know whether the decision is right or wrong, you just have to follow your heart. Most times the heart leads you in the right path whereas if you use your head, you might start thinking about a lot of what ifs and end up not making that decision. The problem is making that jump, that jump that will either kill you or free you.

It is not an easy thing making a decision especially when it will affect not only you but those around you too, but do you let go of what could be the best love you’ve ever felt so that you can spare others from heartache? I don’t know. Sometimes being selfish is the only way to go but when you have a kind heart that puts others before yourself, taking the plunge seems so painful. You think of everyone except yourself and your happiness.

These are the times when you wish you could hide your head in the sand and not take responsibility for your own life. See, making this decision will not guarantee you a happy ever after but shying away from making it will only leave you with more questions than answers. You will always have those could haves, would haves. But what do you do when your heart abandons you and falls in the hands of this wonderful, beautiful stranger? When you try so hard to use your head and your heart gets in the way and wants her so bad?

Finding love is rare but fear always threatens to lose you the opportunity of love beyond your wildest dreams. Sometimes all we can do in life is make sure we live without regrets no matter how our choices turn out.

The invisible pain

Have you ever walked around and looked at the people passing by and wondered what they’re thinking about, what they’re feeling, what their lives are like or what’s going on in their hearts? I do.

When I read the newspaper or watch the news and see the pain that people go through, I’m taken aback to thinking about my life, my family, my experiences. We walk around carrying scars in our hearts and souls and yet all we see in each other are the smiles and laughter we hear. Some people walk around thinking about what they’re going to eat that day or where they’re going to sleep. Some walk around with heavy hearts trapped in places they don’t want to be in but these are the pains we never see.

When you hear about abusive relationships, the first thing we always say is “he/she doesn’t look like the abusive type” or “she doesn’t look like she’s in pain”. It is this invisible pain that has killed so many people in our communities. We have adult men and women carrying this pain from their childhood days but the world doesn’t care. We run around thinking about food, clothes, salaries, jobs, cars, houses and we neglect our little hearts and convince ourselves we’re fine.

In the 31 years that I’ve been on earth, the things I’ve seen, heard, felt are all written within me and none of them are written on the outside, so when you look at me you see what you see or what you’ve heard about me but do not see the real me. I am the image of your thoughts about me and not who I am. Sometimes I wonder if any one person actually knows another fully, do we ever reveal our truest selves to people or do we reserve some of the self so as to always feel secure?

When you’re alone with yourself, it is the only time that you are truly you, that you are not a figment of someone’s imagination, that you are just you. It is at this very moment that I wonder if anyone actually knows me…the me that cannot hide behind anything and it is at this very same moment that I’m convinced that no one can ever know another person fully; we all have secrets whether dark or not.

So here's a question to think about: Do you know me? Or do you know the person you’ve created me to be?...If you knew the real me, would you still be here? This is a question i think about when i look at the people i know.
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