Friday, February 25, 2011

The unexpected

She crept into my heart and I didn't know what hit me. Here I was taking a break from relationships and love, little did I know that you can't dictate the terms for your heart and love. I should have known better, being the love goddess that I am.

So who is this thief? You might ask...she is the figure that brings a dance to my soul, she is the music notes in a song that has caressed my soul, she is the fire in my heart, the sunshine in my life, the first and the last thought in my mind, everyday.

So you know by now :-)...when love finds me, I start going on and on about it...

If I knew over a decade ago, when I fell in love for the very first time that that process would continue for years to come but each time amplified a million times, then I would have done more cardio exercises to prepare my heart for the experience. Each time I love, I think there's no way I can love more than this and each time I surprise myself as to how much love I can feel, how much love I can give but also how much pain I can handle. I always say to my friends and siblings that pain and hurt will always be there but that we were born with coping mechanisms for pain and each time we survive it.

Why am I talking about pain and love in the same breath? Well because love is this beautiful, lovely feeling that just renders you stupid, you can't think straight, songs pop into your head and all of a sudden Brian Adams and Luther Vandross pop into your head humming a tune. Its so beautiful that we start getting scared of all this loveliness, start questioning it, try and forecast the future, try to fix the little minor imperfections that make it so great, we try and take over the driver's seat...forgetting that we were not driving when love came to us, love was the driver...we were just passengers enjoying the ride but we are greedy little beings who want to control everything, even the uncontrollable. We take over the driving, while we want to do everything else on the side and we crash! Then we say love hurts, but love doesn't is us who bring pain into love then blame everyone else except ourselves.

Some reading this will definitely disagree but I bet at the back of your mind you're feeling me. This is why we always separate the honeymoon phase and the phase we call 'reality'...true there comes a time when we must park cloud 9 and take care of some worldly things but who said we must throw away the keys and not take a ride on that cloud once every while? When we stop trying to organise everything in our lives including the future (which we have no idea how it will turn out)and let love organise itself, we might succeed in finding this everlasting love that is so illusive...or so we think.

Back to the woman who makes me weak not only at the knees but every other joint in my body. She is the most unexpected person to take over this heart of mine...I definitely wasn't looking when she crept in and i'm sure she wasn't either when I crept into hers. I've known her for years ans she's one of those souls you just look at and think “OMG she's lovely” and that's it...she's so far from your league that you don't even think twice about anything; an embodiment of perfection and .passion that I was just happy admiring from afar 'til life decided to happen.

Like I said earlier...when you fall in love, on that journey down the rabbit hole, the love gods and goddesses of music creep in and hit you with a tune or two and this time Bruno Mars seems to be playing the right note for me because she's amazing just the way she is.

“Her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining”;

And to end with the chorus from the song that just explains what I see exactly the way it is...
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Moral of my usual going ons...Love will find you no matter how hard you try to hide away from it!

1 comment:

Mimi said...

LOL there is no such thing as "out of your league". Lesson number one. Congratulations on the lady..

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